This week has me thinking and during some reading I came across this gem of writing letters. However, it was not what you think. You are not writing the letter to a person, rather that you are receiving a letter from someone else. This is suppose to help with role playing on your well being. As we tend to have a hard time expressing gratitude authentic within ourselves. So it's kinda like stepping outside of the box, to look within.
I thought I would share the role play of "I wish you well" with my readers. I want you to get in touch with your authentic self.
WRITE A LETTER: “I wish you well”. Imagine you receive a letter from someone (who is still alive or who has passed away) and who wishes you well.
Let your choice of the person you imagine as ‘the writer’ of the letter spontaneously arise.
Write this letter.
Use about 25 min to write the letter.
Use about 5 min to write about what you experienced when working with this exercise.
You can decide to read the letter aloud to someone or you can post it on this website.
Save the letter anyway and reread the letter regularly. Focus on the joy.
As promise during my journey The Science of Happiness I would share some of my course work. Note: The sections are from the lecture sections or book sections of the coursework. These sessions are for your personal growth or good for everyday practices.
Happiness Practice #2: Active Listening
Often we’ll listen to a conversation partner without really hearing him or her—in the process, we miss opportunities to connect with that person. This exercise helps you express active interest in what the other person has to say and makes him or her feel heard—a way to foster empathy and connection. This technique is especially well-suited for difficult conversations (such as arguments with a spouse) and for expressing support. Research suggests that using this technique can help others feel more understood and can improve relationship satisfaction.
At least 10 minutes. Try to make time for this practice at least once per week.
Find a quiet place where you can talk with your partner without interruption or distraction. Invite him or her to share what’s on his or her mind. As he or she does so, try to follow the steps below. You don’t need to cover every step, but the more you do cover, the more effective this practice is likely to be.
1. Paraphrase. Once the other person has finished expressing a thought, paraphrase what he or she said to make sure you understand and to show that you are paying attention. Helpful ways to paraphrase include “What I hear you saying is…” “It sounds like…” and “If I understand you right….”
2. Ask questions. When appropriate, ask questions to encourage the other person to elaborate on his or her thoughts and feelings. Avoid jumping to conclusions about what the other person means. Instead ask questions to clarify his or her meaning, such as, “When you say_____, do you mean_____”?
3. Express empathy. If the other person voices negative feelings, strive to validate these feelings rather than questioning or defending against them. For example, if the speaker expresses frustration, try to consider why he or she feels that way, regardless of whether you think that feeling is justified or whether you would feel that way yourself were you in his or her position. You might respond, “I can sense that you’re feeling frustrated,” and even “I can understand how that situation could cause frustration.”
4. Use engaged body language. Show that you are engaged and interested by making eye contact, nodding, facing the other person, and maintaining an open and relaxed body posture. Avoid attending to distractions in your environment or checking your phone. Be mindful of your facial expressions: Avoid expressions that might communicate disapproval or disgust.
5. Avoid judgment. Your goal is to understand the other person’s perspective and accept it for what it is, even if you disagree with it. Try not to interrupt with counter-arguments or mentally prepare a rebuttal while the other person is speaking.
6. Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is likely to be more effective after both conversation partners understand one another’s perspective and feel heard. Moving too quickly into advice-giving can be counterproductive.
7. Take turns. After the other person has had a chance to speak and you have engaged in the active listening steps above, ask if it’s okay for you to share your perspective. When sharing your perspective, express yourself as clearly as possible using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when you don’t help out around the house”). It may also be helpful, when relevant, to express empathy for the other person’s perspective (e.g., “I know you’ve been very busy lately and don’t mean to leave me hanging…”)
Evidence that it works
Weger, H., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The relative effectiveness of active listening in initial interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13-31.
Participants had brief conversations (about their biggest disappointment with their university) with someone trained to engage in active listening, someone who gave them advice, or someone who gave simple acknowledgments of their point of view. Participants who received active listening reported feeling more understood at the end of the conversation.
Why it works
Active listening helps listeners better understand others’ perspectives and helps speakers feel more understood and less threatened. This technique can prevent miscommunication and spare hurt feelings on both sides. By improving communication and preventing arguments from escalating, active listening can make relationships more enduring and satisfying. Practicing active listening with someone close to you can also help you listen better when interacting with other people in your life, such as students, co-workers, or roommates.
Instructions adapted from: Markman, H., Stanley, S., & Blumberg, S.L. (1994). Fighting for your marriage. San Francisco: Josey-Bass Publishers.
I decided to write this because with life changes you have to come to a sense of knowing what is important, unimportant and what labels as priority.
I work people all the time and they come back to me and ask why something is not work or they fall back into old routines. If anyone knows me when I do work with one, I am very straight forward. Everything I tell a person, even if it may seem bad/negative is actually in the good/positive cause that is what the person needs to hear in that very moment.
Negative people love to feed on this energy and they can somehow have a sick twisted view of their own reality. So in reality when they hear something positive to help them, they only view the negative, some may even become defensive. Some may call this being guarded as well. This honestly is a normal reaction to those whom are new to any body/mind work. But those, whom have been trying to and ignore the work. Not be MINDFUL of intake of the world around them, may not see the harm they are doing to oneself. They get lost in what is actually important.
Funny thing is that most people go through this phase in life. Life feels good, looks good, everything seems so perfect on the outside, but on the inside the person has the true self. They maybe depressed, suicidal, addictions and the list can go on. They make up excuses, they say how great things are, but in reality have priorities all screwed up.
I currently have people in my life that are like this. This is no shock, that here this person whom is an energy worker actually has people in her life that are "screwed up" why don't she fix them. Well, it's simple it is not my job to fix people. I can only be the guide. I can only give the tools. I can only give the straight talk. I can only give the tough love. In the end, it is the person themselves whom actually "fix" themselves. They are the ones whom gave power to the priority clubs in their lives. Yes, I can redirect. But, there is a point where my human body and spirit says, I can not. I am only the bridge, the nesting doll, the facilitator. (The names I have been called)
If you want something bad enough you work hard to get it. It becomes universal law. Law of attraction, comes into play. It does not happen overnight. It is not a magical seed that sprouts over night and you can climb to the top. It takes work. It takes effort. It takes a person to have their own priority club.
Even, myself as a light path worker, I must grow daily. I must maintain my own practices and be mindful. I look past the "bull shit". I place my intentions in the universe daily. Each day I get signs. Some days they are small, others so large its like a neon sign from the 80s. But, I have to work. I have my own priority club I have made for myself.
My duties as a energy worker are to heal when I can give, to listen to my guides and ancients, give information when it is called for. All I say is for the good, don't read into the negative. If you see the negative, change your prospective. Close your eyes, close your eyes....Now see the world differently
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...