I have been wondering how to write this post. I mean, the last thing everyone knew was hey I am in Portland, then hey I am back in Washington state. So I thought I would write about.
Portland was a lesson. Portland was a lesson that not only for myself but also my dear nephew whom I was sharing a house with to go through. Portland, was wonderful. I really liked Portland, even though the highways, caused me major anxiety, but I loved that I was so close to everything. But Portland, was also bringing about a lot of door closures. The weather was delaying my husband from moving our household goods, my husband's work was having nothing but problems trying to hire people to take his place, even though my husband was slated to transfer to Portland. At one point my husband was one of two people doing his job, the universe did not want my husband there. The universe wanted me in Portland, but not my husband. We was separated. It was so difficult. Here we was homeless for so long and finally had a place to go, and everything was keeping us apart. But for me, I had to be in Portland at the time. I do not regret my time in Portland, it happened for a reason. Lessons was learned. But I was sadden when I had to return back to Washington last month. It broke my heart, but also I was happy because I was near my husband and my rock.
Last month, I thought to myself here we go again, I am staying with my soul sister. Which since last June, we had been staying there due to our homelessness. I ask the universe within myself, there needs to be a change. As I was now feeling like a burden on my soul sister. Let me note, I am far from a burden, but I am respectful of my sister, therefore asking her to not only to take me in, but now my son whom flew out to live in January. It weighs heavy on your heart, you do the things you can to help out etc, but it is her house and her things and you start to feel in the way after awhile, because this was only suppose to be a temporary thing not a permanent gig. As you can tell, this has been a huge struggle for me. So yes, when I asked the universe within, I just proclaimed a surrender.
I started to look for housing. I started the process all over again, prepared myself a little better this time. I don't carry credit cards, and don't have a credit score above 600 therefore I knew the process was going to be hard. But I took deep breathes and formulated a plan- I allowed the road to be open.
See Portland taught me what I really wanted, so allowing myself to be open to what I really wanted instead of settling, I allowed the laws of success to come my way. The manifestations of not only what my husband wanted, but what my son needs and I need in life. My family will be taking over as caretakers for a dog sanctuary. I am beyond the moon about this. The best part of this experience, is not only will I be helping out animals but humans as well, since we will be having volunteers out there from different various programs. So as the door closed in Portland, the road opened for us in Washington.
Hands of Hope Sanctuary will be our new home. I will continue to do my practices out there once we relocated. I can not wait to share with everyone the happiness and peace. Never be afraid if a door closes, because the road is just opening up.
Yes, in continual of The Science of Happiness from my course I took at edx.org I bring you another excerise of self loving to do! It does not take long and you may find yourself in awe! Love and Light everyone! Enjoy
This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up over them—experience greater physical and mental health.
First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life.
Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write.
The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike.
As you write, follow these guidelines:
1. Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?
2. Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.
3. Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself.
4. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.
5. After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.
Evidence that it works
Breines, J. G. & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18(9), 1133-1143.
Participants in an online study who wrote a compassionate paragraph to themselves regarding a personal weakness subsequently reported greater feelings of self-compassion. They also experienced other psychological benefits, such as greater motivation for self-improvement.
Other supporting evidence
Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 377-389.
Why it works
Self-compassion reduces painful feelings of shame and self-criticism that can compromise mental health and well-being and stand in the way of personal growth. Writing is a powerful way to cope with negative feelings and change the way you think about a difficult situation.
Writing in a self-compassionate way can help you replace your self-critical voice with a more compassionate one--one that comforts and reassures you rather than berating yourself for your shortcomings. It takes time and practice, but the more your write in this way, the more familiar and natural the compassionate voice will feel, and the easier it will be to remember to treat yourself kindly when you’re feeling down on yourself.
Juliana Breines, Ph.D., Brandeis University
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., University of Texas, Austin
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...