i am no longer in Washington state and currently on an extended camping trip to get back in touch with myself. I have been going through some personal battles, that have left me mentally broken. Therefore am taking time to reconnect myself. I am finding my light out the darkness. I have some of my cards so able to do card readings, however other services are on hold.
As a healer I must take care of myself. I am grateful. For those whom suffer from complex PTSD, anxiety and other health issues- you are not alone. I know this, cause I have been feeling that loneliness and have found the right people do come into your life, even if it’s a brief moment.
As I reconnect with myself and go through a transition of relocating, I find this more true every day. May everyone stay blessed.
I have been super sick the past 5 days. Actually started to feel it in my flanks a few weeks ago, which I am use since my channelopathy meds kinda do that with me. But then came the throat. And spiritually I have been down myself. The combo of it all has literally wiped my body's hard drive and and I am doing a complete system reboot.
Sometimes getting super sick is just that. Your body saying NO MORE, time to reorganize and come out stronger. I know for myself, when I get sick, I get super sick. Sersly I barely have the energy to type this up. I so know in the end I will come out stronger.
Spiritually I have been a mess. My home life currently has a lot of stress especially in the money side of the house of things. Honestly I am at my breaking point. I have been meditating and doing things I need to do, but not enough. I am not taking the mental breaks. I am not doing me. I am not doing self care. Basically I am not taking care of my own hard drive.
Why am I using the references of a computer? Well your body is just that one giant computer. Your brain being the hard drive. You have to maintain it. Or it is system failure. Currently I have been in system failure and system upgrade mode. I know this cause I feel like I am changing inside. Things are becoming more clear to me and I am moving pass all the bullshite of life. I am also getting stronger as a lightworker. So I am growing on that path. I am going beyond on all the messes and all of darkness. I am becoming more pushy, yes, I said that. I am in this phase of hey, you got help yourself. You got to do get out of your head and do something. I may come off a little brass for people, but I also know that spirit moves thru me and pushes helps me push people where they need to be pushed towards.
I am not afraid, but I am afraid. I am more afraid of my own future, cause of where money lies with my family right now, but I am not afraid of who I am. I am my authentic self, and I am ok with that. I know people are going to love me for whom I am no matter what. If they don't, then they never truly loved me in the beginning. That is what you learn on this journey in life.
This blog is title confessions of a lightworker. I bring you tools to help you, my "guru" side of me (how I hate that term guru, but we will use that term for term sake). But I also bring you hey, I am human side of me. My shortcomings. my struggles. Does this make me a bad "guru"? No, this does not. I live in a reality world. I am enlightened. Very much so, I do live in a "be here now" - I think showing my shortcomings makes me a better lightworker. To quote Ram Dass “It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”
I have spoke about this book before: An Excerpt from Remember, Be Here Now by Ram Dass om94
"Push far enough into the void
Hold fast enough to Quietness
And of the ten thousand things
Non but can be worked by you
I have beheld them wither they go back
See all things howsoever they flourish
Return to the roots from which they grew
This return to the roots is called quietness
Quietness is called
Submission to fate
What has submitted to fate becomes part of the always so
To know the always so is to be illumined
Not to know it means to go blindly to Disaster" So says Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching
To go you've got to go the whole trip All the way to the back Before you get to the place where you see that behind all this there is all this in its OM In its unmanifest form Always Eternally You perceive that NOTHING is really happening at all NOTHING ever happends NOTHING is going to happen. There's NOTHING you've got to do. There's no doer to do it anyway
When I read this today and then saw the SURFING art, it made me think about surfing the waves of quietness that we all seek in daily life. On a daily basics we have stress, outside influences, drama etc. We are like surfers in the ocean, waiting for that right moment to catch a wave, however the waves we are catching at that brief moment when everything is silent. We do have to submit to ourselves. We have to remember to listen to our heartbeat. Let go. Trust.
We all seek internal wisdom, even myself. I learn everyday and I continue to grow every day. My growth within myself, helps me to help others. My first rule when working with others is that I can only help your on your path. My job is to help guide. I can not fix you. Only you can fix you. I saw this today on FB "We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves." -Buddha Bless You This quote speaks so much truth. Surf the quietness inside you. Be patient like the great surfers in the world. Your patience will be rewarded.
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...