Well, it has been some busy months since I last posted. I started a new job within my community. I had shoulder surgery last month, along with moving and currently getting ready to host an exchange student for the school year. WE are beyond excited for these next chapters in our life. Everything I feel we have been manifesting is now here. It has been a long road, a difficult one as well, but we finally are on that road.
We (husband and I) had to let go of alot of things from our past, when we moved from Washington alot of personal things and material things were left behind, some by choice, some by forgetfulness of being sick and mentally drained and exhausted. Everyone in my family was sick, when we, left Washington state, my husband's blood pressure was in the above 240, we all lost so much weight it was literally making us ill. Mentally, I lost myself to the point I checked myself into a critical care unit. I have a full blown nervious breakdown, where my body, just gave up. It broke down. We was not living our best life. We was more concerned about everyone else's needs, we forgotten about our own needs. So our own egos, had to let go of that behavior. It was time to take care of one self.
I have done mini workshops here about on self care, yet as a teacher I was not using my own practices. So yes, it was time to recenter and CHANGE.
We all have the road that life throws in front of us, I once stated this many times before, that road might be a smooth one or it might be one hell of a ride with lots of detours and contruction, however the road leads you to where you will go in the end. The part as a human being is to remember to keep your intentions and thought patterns on the positive part of that end result. Not to get stuck in the negative. If you do get stuck in the negative traffic of your life journey, remember that it is only temporary. Pray, say your affirmations or do what works for you to reset your mind. Your mind, is a computer. There are times, that computer needs a little cleaning up and a reboot. Don't be afraid. Trust me, there is some wonderful parts in that scary journey that are total lessons and when you get past that part of the journey and look back- you will understand how blessed you actually are.
Change and letting go you will lose things along the way, but remind yourself, that the things you lost have served their purpose in your life. As much as it may hurt when you look upon the things you have lost, remember the good in all of it. Don't get stuck. Don't feed the hurt it serves no purpose to you only hurt. Don't punish yourself. Especially for things that are beyond your control. I have always believed that God places things in our life because that is part our story in our book of life, I don't know why I feel like this book as been written with strange story lines so others can learn and grow or within ourselves we have a destiny greater than we can imagine after we are long gone from this planet we call earth. In history we have the souls that went through some really hard times, such as Telsa, Van Gough etc..., yet these people are remembered for some of the greatest works. I am sure when they were alive they were just like the rest of us, living ordinary lives. Trying to change themselves to make the world a better place, but feeling so small in the greater space of life. Yet, many years after their deaths, see how they have made the world a better place. That was part of the story, in their storybook of life. The story moves on. I know it is a strange concept and thought to have, but it is part of change and letting go after all.
I rather live in a world where I am happy in the moment, instead of being miserable. I rather live in a world where I am ok with myself and not worried about pleasing others. I rather live in a world, where I control my own pain and let go of it. Where foregiveness is for myself, because I deserve the peace.
What are you going to CHANGE today? The choice is all yours.
Living an authentic spiritual life is extremely hard in today's society, especially in the state of affairs the world is in. However, having a healthy spiritual approach to living life can do wonders to your mental health and improve your overall happiness. Here is just a few tips on how to live a spiritual life, please note these are metaphysical techniques and methodologies, please do what works for you in your life.
I have been wondering how to write this post. I mean, the last thing everyone knew was hey I am in Portland, then hey I am back in Washington state. So I thought I would write about.
Portland was a lesson. Portland was a lesson that not only for myself but also my dear nephew whom I was sharing a house with to go through. Portland, was wonderful. I really liked Portland, even though the highways, caused me major anxiety, but I loved that I was so close to everything. But Portland, was also bringing about a lot of door closures. The weather was delaying my husband from moving our household goods, my husband's work was having nothing but problems trying to hire people to take his place, even though my husband was slated to transfer to Portland. At one point my husband was one of two people doing his job, the universe did not want my husband there. The universe wanted me in Portland, but not my husband. We was separated. It was so difficult. Here we was homeless for so long and finally had a place to go, and everything was keeping us apart. But for me, I had to be in Portland at the time. I do not regret my time in Portland, it happened for a reason. Lessons was learned. But I was sadden when I had to return back to Washington last month. It broke my heart, but also I was happy because I was near my husband and my rock.
Last month, I thought to myself here we go again, I am staying with my soul sister. Which since last June, we had been staying there due to our homelessness. I ask the universe within myself, there needs to be a change. As I was now feeling like a burden on my soul sister. Let me note, I am far from a burden, but I am respectful of my sister, therefore asking her to not only to take me in, but now my son whom flew out to live in January. It weighs heavy on your heart, you do the things you can to help out etc, but it is her house and her things and you start to feel in the way after awhile, because this was only suppose to be a temporary thing not a permanent gig. As you can tell, this has been a huge struggle for me. So yes, when I asked the universe within, I just proclaimed a surrender.
I started to look for housing. I started the process all over again, prepared myself a little better this time. I don't carry credit cards, and don't have a credit score above 600 therefore I knew the process was going to be hard. But I took deep breathes and formulated a plan- I allowed the road to be open.
See Portland taught me what I really wanted, so allowing myself to be open to what I really wanted instead of settling, I allowed the laws of success to come my way. The manifestations of not only what my husband wanted, but what my son needs and I need in life. My family will be taking over as caretakers for a dog sanctuary. I am beyond the moon about this. The best part of this experience, is not only will I be helping out animals but humans as well, since we will be having volunteers out there from different various programs. So as the door closed in Portland, the road opened for us in Washington.
Hands of Hope Sanctuary will be our new home. I will continue to do my practices out there once we relocated. I can not wait to share with everyone the happiness and peace. Never be afraid if a door closes, because the road is just opening up.
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...