I have been doing a lot of reflecting this 2018 and as 2019 approaches here in a few short hours, I am on the rise of my priorities. One of those principles in my priorities is changing my own algorithm in life. I have been thinking about algorithms of late due to my own spiritual studies and my upcoming paper I need to write, but most importantly it was the changes in my own life that have lead me.
In the world of social media, social construct of now social media stars are a legitimate business, everyone wants to be in this strange reality of perfection. In life, now via the internet our world is controlled very much like Netflix show of Bandersnatch, the choices we make are a narrative of the choices we make online with our likes, dislikes and shares. Adverts are now geared by our thought process and key words we write or in some strange reality we think. We have devices in our home to ask questions, which in news reports are recording our private moments. Data mining with funny quizzes, surveys and even or DNA.
This is the world we live in, the future is very unknown. However, we can change our personal algorithms. By the energies we choose to focus out in the world.
We can start small. Being a positive influence, change our negative thinking into positive thinking. Social media is a norm, some choose to live with it. I personally am one of those people. I am very open, I use social media on regular base in my personal life and here on a business side of the house. However, although I probably should use it more in business, I do not. I don't have the budget nor have been a person to self promote. I have always been the word of mouth gal, this is how I have chosen to live my life. I don't strive to be like another person. I have been told, I should be like "insert popular name here as I choose not to name", this quite frankly always bothered me. I would shake my head and say yeah, yeah but deep inside, I am me. I am myself. I want to be know for me just being me, not like some generic comparison. This is how I have in my life, slowly working on my own algorithm. For the month of January, I have decided to take a small social media break on my personal page of the famous social media that now seems to be as normal reading like a Sunday paper. I am still on my personal photo social media platform as that is so ingrained in my being, that makes me whole, I love sharing quotes, positive vibes and random photos. My photo social media is not an "paid influencer", however I do consider myself a positive vibe influencer. That is my personal algorithm I choose to lead in the world.
I am choosing to take the month off as a social experiment myself. How will my leaving the world of hearts, likes, sad and angry emojis change the direction of who I see online or what my feed sends to me. I am changing the personal algorithm, that this new world chooses to for me. Taking back a little control in my life, maybe? It doesn't cause me anxiety, however yes, there are days, I get sucked in the rabbit hole and get pissed off about the state of affairs in our world. Thus I see how much, the state of affairs is controlled by big media, misinformation, people not thinking for themselves. I think that is what may make that anger rise, is the lack of control that people are having within their own lives. People not thinking for themselves. Not being authentic. Are we losing our humanity? Changing direction is not easy, but it begins with you.
I wish everyone has the best 2019!
Living an authentic spiritual life is extremely hard in today's society, especially in the state of affairs the world is in. However, having a healthy spiritual approach to living life can do wonders to your mental health and improve your overall happiness. Here is just a few tips on how to live a spiritual life, please note these are metaphysical techniques and methodologies, please do what works for you in your life.
Yes, in continual of The Science of Happiness from my course I took at edx.org I bring you another excerise of self loving to do! It does not take long and you may find yourself in awe! Love and Light everyone! Enjoy
This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up over them—experience greater physical and mental health.
First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life.
Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write.
The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike.
As you write, follow these guidelines:
1. Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?
2. Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.
3. Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself.
4. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.
5. After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.
Evidence that it works
Breines, J. G. & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18(9), 1133-1143.
Participants in an online study who wrote a compassionate paragraph to themselves regarding a personal weakness subsequently reported greater feelings of self-compassion. They also experienced other psychological benefits, such as greater motivation for self-improvement.
Other supporting evidence
Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 377-389.
Why it works
Self-compassion reduces painful feelings of shame and self-criticism that can compromise mental health and well-being and stand in the way of personal growth. Writing is a powerful way to cope with negative feelings and change the way you think about a difficult situation.
Writing in a self-compassionate way can help you replace your self-critical voice with a more compassionate one--one that comforts and reassures you rather than berating yourself for your shortcomings. It takes time and practice, but the more your write in this way, the more familiar and natural the compassionate voice will feel, and the easier it will be to remember to treat yourself kindly when you’re feeling down on yourself.
Juliana Breines, Ph.D., Brandeis University
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., University of Texas, Austin
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...