I have been wondering how to write this post. I mean, the last thing everyone knew was hey I am in Portland, then hey I am back in Washington state. So I thought I would write about.
Portland was a lesson. Portland was a lesson that not only for myself but also my dear nephew whom I was sharing a house with to go through. Portland, was wonderful. I really liked Portland, even though the highways, caused me major anxiety, but I loved that I was so close to everything. But Portland, was also bringing about a lot of door closures. The weather was delaying my husband from moving our household goods, my husband's work was having nothing but problems trying to hire people to take his place, even though my husband was slated to transfer to Portland. At one point my husband was one of two people doing his job, the universe did not want my husband there. The universe wanted me in Portland, but not my husband. We was separated. It was so difficult. Here we was homeless for so long and finally had a place to go, and everything was keeping us apart. But for me, I had to be in Portland at the time. I do not regret my time in Portland, it happened for a reason. Lessons was learned. But I was sadden when I had to return back to Washington last month. It broke my heart, but also I was happy because I was near my husband and my rock.
Last month, I thought to myself here we go again, I am staying with my soul sister. Which since last June, we had been staying there due to our homelessness. I ask the universe within myself, there needs to be a change. As I was now feeling like a burden on my soul sister. Let me note, I am far from a burden, but I am respectful of my sister, therefore asking her to not only to take me in, but now my son whom flew out to live in January. It weighs heavy on your heart, you do the things you can to help out etc, but it is her house and her things and you start to feel in the way after awhile, because this was only suppose to be a temporary thing not a permanent gig. As you can tell, this has been a huge struggle for me. So yes, when I asked the universe within, I just proclaimed a surrender.
I started to look for housing. I started the process all over again, prepared myself a little better this time. I don't carry credit cards, and don't have a credit score above 600 therefore I knew the process was going to be hard. But I took deep breathes and formulated a plan- I allowed the road to be open.
See Portland taught me what I really wanted, so allowing myself to be open to what I really wanted instead of settling, I allowed the laws of success to come my way. The manifestations of not only what my husband wanted, but what my son needs and I need in life. My family will be taking over as caretakers for a dog sanctuary. I am beyond the moon about this. The best part of this experience, is not only will I be helping out animals but humans as well, since we will be having volunteers out there from different various programs. So as the door closed in Portland, the road opened for us in Washington.
Hands of Hope Sanctuary will be our new home. I will continue to do my practices out there once we relocated. I can not wait to share with everyone the happiness and peace. Never be afraid if a door closes, because the road is just opening up.
Yes, in continual of The Science of Happiness from my course I took at edx.org I bring you another excerise of self loving to do! It does not take long and you may find yourself in awe! Love and Light everyone! Enjoy
This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up over them—experience greater physical and mental health.
First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life.
Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write.
The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike.
As you write, follow these guidelines:
1. Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?
2. Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.
3. Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself.
4. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.
5. After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.
Evidence that it works
Breines, J. G. & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18(9), 1133-1143.
Participants in an online study who wrote a compassionate paragraph to themselves regarding a personal weakness subsequently reported greater feelings of self-compassion. They also experienced other psychological benefits, such as greater motivation for self-improvement.
Other supporting evidence
Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 377-389.
Why it works
Self-compassion reduces painful feelings of shame and self-criticism that can compromise mental health and well-being and stand in the way of personal growth. Writing is a powerful way to cope with negative feelings and change the way you think about a difficult situation.
Writing in a self-compassionate way can help you replace your self-critical voice with a more compassionate one--one that comforts and reassures you rather than berating yourself for your shortcomings. It takes time and practice, but the more your write in this way, the more familiar and natural the compassionate voice will feel, and the easier it will be to remember to treat yourself kindly when you’re feeling down on yourself.
Juliana Breines, Ph.D., Brandeis University
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., University of Texas, Austin
I am chuckling about my choice of title for this week blog post. I kinda do feel very Leeloo at times and in a way the type of starseed For pop culture sake I am a bit like a Leeloo, no wonder why my husband loves that movie so much and I do as well. LOL The clicks in my head, but then again that is what this entire week has been about.
One of the main questions I get asked a lot is where do I get the knowledge I know. Did I learn it somewhere. What books did I read, etc. Most will be surprised, I don't read a lot of "new age" books. I have books. I use books for references. I know authors, but when I read them, the read is more of a validation of knowledge I have known all my life. It sounds kinda of cocky I know. But as a star seed our brains are wired very interesting. But to answer that question honestly, I get the information and my knowledge from source. It's already in my brain, it just get's accessed when I need to use it. Kinda like a computer accessing files.
Before my ataxia took over my body I was a multitasker like crazy. My thirst for knowledge was the same way. Well, it still is I am just a bit slower now, but the material I like to study are kinda wacky and random. I mean who takes a MIT to understand molecular biology and convert DNA sequence to RNA sequence to protein sequence by the great professor Eric S. Lander Take his Introduction to Biology- The Secret of Life if you want to challenge yourself. You will be folding proteins fun stuff! Okay slightly off topic but not really. But this is how my brain has always worked. I have more manuals and educational type books in my home than I have normal reading books. Kinda a star seed trait.
When I was a kid my books was George Orwell, Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, with a mix of Nancy Drew. I loved them, because I was eager to solve them. I also was a lover of classics Lewis Carroll and Poe. As an adult I own books about Ram Dass, Buddhist teachings and more. But I only peer into them, when seeking help to get my point across or in need of inspiration.
I have been peeling away many layers of my star seed self. I knew I was a star seed as a child, because I never felt like I belong. I would hear stories from my father how my mother thought she was an alien herself. My father thinking she was bat shit crazy, so of course I kept my own feelings of feeling "alien" myself.
I saw arch angel Micheal as a child, he saved me more than once. I knew just growing up that things were not right. I did not have the kindest upbringing in my life. But I somehow managed to survive. I remember trying to run away one time when I was about 8th grade. I snuck out my window in the middle of the night, I just looked at the stars. I did not know where I was going to go, but it was freedom for a brief moment. And it was like the stars guided me back home, telling me, nope- you have to go back no matter. The sky and nature have always guided me. Just one of those other traits.
As I got older my I knew my dreams of becoming an astronaut was not going to be real, but I did join the service as a secret squirrel for a little while. I think that is when my own activation started. I started noticing people, and objects, and was in touch with my past lives. Basically in my 20s I kinda went coco puff crazy. I was vibing with the wrong and right people. Was pulled in way to many directions and had a few crash a burns. I would say more crashes than anything else. It happens. I was completely ungrounded. Also I was unaware of how old I was.
So we fast forward to my 40s. I turn 45 in January. And in the past 5 years I have been more in touch with my ancients than I have ever in my life. I have been able to transform the rest of my DNA that I need at this present time. I feel I am about 90% activated, and will never be at 100% because well that is pure source light. But in human form I will take the 90%. The funny thing about this all is I have had to go thru what I call the test by fire. Almost a test if I am worthy of being the key. And the past 5 years have been some very trying times in my life. I have love, lost, grieved, still grieving, joy, gratitude and many blessings. Yes, I am out weighting the negative, I am tipping my scales. That is what you have to do in life, tip your scales.
I had to figure out I am my own Fifth Element. I am the weapon that can fight off the evil that surrounds myself and other's around me. HEHE back to that Hamsa again. I am that divine light human form. I may not be fighting off a alien race to stop the great evil, I mean after all that is just a movie. But as a star seed I can tell you this, even thou that was just a movie, everyone has light within them, to stop hate. To promote peace, love and understanding. Our world needs that more now than ever. So take charge of your inner Leeloo and find your divine light. Become your own Fifth Element.
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...