Yes, I just posted a photo of "don't be a dick". These are simple words, that yes are hard (not on the positivity side of the house), but those simple words got your attention right?
Yes, we live in a society that is all about LOOK AT ME culture, we have YT, SNAPCHAT, INSTA, FACEBOOK and so many other SOCIAL MEDIA outlets. But does it give a person a right to 'be a dick", or even the right to not expand our minds so far that we have forgotten who WE REALLY ARE? Yes, this is another lesson about authentic life.
We live in a society that is more about sharing negativity that really sharing positivity. DAILY even positive people I know, share the negative. It gets covered up with "well it's about being socially aware", which I am all about social awareness, but why as a society do we focus on the "dick moves" of the world. Why can't we focus, on the positive out of the negativity and give that more a universal signal boost? Do we use it as a coping tool to hide our own non authentic life? What are we truly masking?
I have had my share of negative things going on in my life, but with all of that I always try to see the good out of the negative. Is it hard? Why of course. When things stir off course, my world crumbles around me, remember I am only human on this planet earth. I don't have a magic spell that will make everything better. But I do have my own thoughts, and my own intentions where I can stir the course to a better solution. Now that is truly magical when all the combos are just right. Authentic life, is about all the lessons, you learn while making that magic happen. Authentic life is about all the right ingredients inside your soul and recognizing them and embracing them.
Authentic life is also about embracing. You embrace the bad and the good. You see the good in every situation, even in the bad times.
I will give you an example of embracing my own part of my life. Are you ready?
This past June we was rendered homeless, due to my ex landlord selling the house we lived in. We was given 20 DAYS to leave a home that we strived for over a year to keep, due to all the hardships of moving to a new location and starting over literally from scratch. My husband at the time was working 6 days a week, 2 jobs. He could not help me pack. My soul sister whom lives here in Washington as well, also had started a new job ( I was watching her daughter for her). So here it was not only effecting our life, but also my soul sister's life. Now at the time, I cried many tears. I was also very angry. I somehow made it through the 20 days, packing. We had another friend that was kind and left their van for us to use to move things. A few times they was able to come and move stuff in storage. WE did it with the combined effort of my close circle around me. The impossible task was conquered.
Next, we moved our couple suitcases, my service dog, tea cart and pillows into a secondary room my soul sister has. That is where my husband and I have been living since the end of June. July rolled around, and it was like shell shock. My husband, ended quitting one of his jobs to primary focus on the out of town job that paid more money and more hours (he was only part time at his old job and with new management very few hours). My husband on average commutes a total of 3-4 extra hours depending on traffic daily. Don't sound to bad, but my husband also is a driver for his work, so on the road an average of 9 hours daily, so in reality my husband spends 13-14 hours daily driving. He is tired. But this is the life we choose to do, and even with all of that driving- MY HUSBAND IS THE HAPPIEST he has ever been in years working. CRAZY RIGHT? No, that is embracing authentic life. Even as July rolled in, my soul sister's work schedule got crazy. I was able to be there for my soul daughter without her having the worry. So I embraced this was where I am suppose to be at this moment.
August/September rolls in and my hubby and I start seeking online for possible new places. Scary part was in the area he works in the places was just not in our budget. Ok, next...I just kept pushing forward. We even went to a place was was told NO, because before we could fill out the application, my husband simply did not make enough money, according to their standards and renting regulations. I felt so defeated that day. I just could not even look at the mountain without crying. My symbol of strength was completely WTF what's next? So I bucked up and kept searching. We applied for an income based apartment, we was yes, finally a break. Well, 2 days later we was denied, due to credit. Once again I felt defeated. How can my life be based on numbers on a piece of paper. What has society become, when we stopped looking at the person inside and we just all have become a credit score. That lead me to much more thinking.
When my brain thinks, it loves to remind me who I am. See, being homeless "but not homeless" according to society, I had more learning to do. During this trail in my life, I have learned why homelessness is an issue in America. I learned new information, that I am suppose to do share, and let there be that "social awareness", where normally people turn a blind eye. I also know all my positives in my life. Yes, I do have a roof over my head which I am utter grateful for. Not only am I safe but my family is as well. I also learned from all this experience, some inner child mantra work I really need to work on. See all of this has really uprooted my lotus flower inside myself. I feel lost, no place to land calling it my own. I feel this is a nail in a coffin for some issues and work I have been doing these past 2 years, starting over. As I write these words in the blog, you only see a fraction of the real me, my authentic self I am showing you now. The scared one, who doesn't know where she will be in the next few months. But is writing this blog in hopes of teaching. Why I even bother to write at all is to only teach, pass whatever knowledge in my life I am suppose to do. Be the bridge at this moment. My authentic life is to let you know no matter "who is being a dick" "that shitty stuff that happens" that look at all the beautiful lessons that life is teaching you, showing you and for love of it all what positives you can see and pass along.
My parting words are simple: DON'T BE A DICK to yourself. Allow yourself to focus on the good things, train your mind. Pass your knowledge to others and teach other's "NOT TO BE A DICK" Most important don't feed the negativity, your soul will thank you.
As the world around me is shifting, including myself and my own surroundings. I have been seeking mediation states more and more everyday. Whilst during listening to random song choices of Pandora's David Bowie channel, headphone game on strong. I got lost in the vibrations of a song (don't ask me I don't have a clue what song) which I often do when my meditation game is strong. For me I follow the song waves and they become something entirely different than the actual song playing for the moment. They become like currents for me to hitch rides to a higher vibrational frequency. Which is why I use sound during my healing sessions.
I found myself in 5D drifting higher until I came across the only thing I can say was a void. But this void was all the frequency of higher collectives merging as one.
My body was no longer my body. I was pure energy. I could see the flicks of energy bouncing back in and out of this what only I can say was a vortex of light. I become closer and closer, free. Nothing around me had an existence. I was for that moment in 7D. Then suddenly something happen.
I saw a figure come towards me, it was different because in the void of light it was dark. It was oddly strange, I remember saying to myself "dad?". As soon as I said that the figure went thru me, I remember suddenly my body jerked. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see. So I closed them to return. However, that jerk set me what I can only describe as "out of frequency" with the 7D. It was like my energy was for a moment kinda like static electricity trying to enter. I could see my own frequency pattern jagged. Kinda reminded me of what you would see on a heart monitor.
The next thing I knew my phone rang. I belong to an online gaming community and only a few have my number. It was from one of those members. Only reason this person would cal me is because of game. So that call knocked me clear back to earth. But I was not really on earth.
I went to my game did a roll call, since when I answered no one was on the other end. Thought to myself strange, nothing is going on in the game. Then it dawned on me, my friend who called is a geologist. I just laughed sent him a message about his call and how it sent me back to earth. The strange thing was my vision was super blurry. Like my eyes could not focus.
So after I sent him the message, spirit told me to check the time I got the call. I first read it as 655, because of my vision being they way it was. Ok, got the message. Then I was talking to my husband about the message. Mind you I was still in 4D at this time, so although I was aware of my surroundings I was what you can say "not all there".
I tried to focus on coming back from the meditation. Spirit called to me again, check time. I looked at my phone it was slightly past 6pm. Then it clicked the phone call could have not come in at that time. So I looked at time again of the phone call 5:55pm I just bursted out laughing. Shortly after I got a message from my game friend stating his 2 year had his phone and he apologized for calling. I laughed when I heard it was a 2 year old, I had been getting messages of 222 combos all week.
It took some time for my vision to come back.
This experience is exactly what I needed. I feel free of burdens that have been bothering me all week.
I will admit I have been super sensitive to others vibrations. But I pushed whatever was given to me back out to this plane of existence.
I have been super sick the past 5 days. Actually started to feel it in my flanks a few weeks ago, which I am use since my channelopathy meds kinda do that with me. But then came the throat. And spiritually I have been down myself. The combo of it all has literally wiped my body's hard drive and and I am doing a complete system reboot.
Sometimes getting super sick is just that. Your body saying NO MORE, time to reorganize and come out stronger. I know for myself, when I get sick, I get super sick. Sersly I barely have the energy to type this up. I so know in the end I will come out stronger.
Spiritually I have been a mess. My home life currently has a lot of stress especially in the money side of the house of things. Honestly I am at my breaking point. I have been meditating and doing things I need to do, but not enough. I am not taking the mental breaks. I am not doing me. I am not doing self care. Basically I am not taking care of my own hard drive.
Why am I using the references of a computer? Well your body is just that one giant computer. Your brain being the hard drive. You have to maintain it. Or it is system failure. Currently I have been in system failure and system upgrade mode. I know this cause I feel like I am changing inside. Things are becoming more clear to me and I am moving pass all the bullshite of life. I am also getting stronger as a lightworker. So I am growing on that path. I am going beyond on all the messes and all of darkness. I am becoming more pushy, yes, I said that. I am in this phase of hey, you got help yourself. You got to do get out of your head and do something. I may come off a little brass for people, but I also know that spirit moves thru me and pushes helps me push people where they need to be pushed towards.
I am not afraid, but I am afraid. I am more afraid of my own future, cause of where money lies with my family right now, but I am not afraid of who I am. I am my authentic self, and I am ok with that. I know people are going to love me for whom I am no matter what. If they don't, then they never truly loved me in the beginning. That is what you learn on this journey in life.
This blog is title confessions of a lightworker. I bring you tools to help you, my "guru" side of me (how I hate that term guru, but we will use that term for term sake). But I also bring you hey, I am human side of me. My shortcomings. my struggles. Does this make me a bad "guru"? No, this does not. I live in a reality world. I am enlightened. Very much so, I do live in a "be here now" - I think showing my shortcomings makes me a better lightworker. To quote Ram Dass “It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...