I took myself off facebook, yet this will be posting on facebook, irony. I have however for the sake of social media I had scheduled posts already before making the leap off for the week after Christmas. It was a clearing of my head. The first few days, boredom took over. I don't have my other auto and the rain has given me cabin fever of sorts. But yesterday I was able to get outside. Fresh air at 38F. Well needed.
Like most of the end of the years I reflect and thankful for what the year gave me and what it did not give me. The highs and the lows. The growths and the many blessings thru all the struggles this year. I got really bad news yesterday about my dad. It was news I did not want to hear. I know in 2016 I will have more struggles and some lows. I also I will have some very awesome highs because the universe is very awesome and loves me and has my back.
I got a few calls today, one was thanking me for posting the video on facebook today, it was just what they needed to hear. Which I found comforting in my own way, earlier this week right after I had posted the other video. A another text came in from someone else I know that begged me to not stop making my videos. This was from someone I had known for a long time. I was unaware that she even watched any of my videos. She told me she watched all of them, and they changed her life. I told her thanks, the universe sent me that message just in time. I had been struggling so much of late. I have so much of finding my words due to my disability. i am very educated, but this year has been the worse year for me health wise. But the universe had my back this year, I have been blessed with amazing doctors. I am finally after many years getting the help I need. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes you get thrown on a path where you wonder why you get thrown on. I always tell people, you have to be patient there is a reason. Don't question. Even when you think the world is going to shit around you, trust that there will be good coming out of the muck. Sometimes you have to go thru a little rough waters.
I think in life it's if you want to fight it, or let go of ego and go with it. You can try and try and try and try and try.....but there is a point you just have to let go and trust in where the universe is going to lead you. Don't get me wrong you are your own compass, but if you fight certain things where the universe is pushing you towards- honey hang up your compass and just let go. That is the greatest lesson I learned when we packed up our life savings, husband quit his job of 18 years and we moved to the PNW. By the grace of the universe, our rent is paid monthly ( and trust me the months we are talkings pennies on making that rent payment) so we still have a roof over our head. So that I count my blessings and ever grateful, but I had to hang my own compass to trust that there is a reason why my husband has not found the better paying job yet. There is a reason for A-B-C- and you know...I have some health stuff that came up if I have private insurance I could not pay for. So I look at the positive side, maybe this is what the universe has in store and after this test then it will fall in place, so this is what lays ahead for 2016. And you know what.....universe keeps telling me I am not meant to work a 9-5 job anyways. I meant to focus on being Hamsa Sandra, because now more and more people are being vocal- and I will be honest, sometimes I tap the mic and wonder " is this thing on?"
2016 is upon us...I am ready to be my best for you. I tap into source all the time and I have messages I want to get across. But I am also cautious. I want the messages to be heard to those who are hungry for it. Who are willing to do the work, who are willing to invest in themselves.
I wish everyone Love and Light! PS- There is specials going on in the stores! FYI!! Heads up!!
I want to make a video badly this week, this month has been covered in doctor appointments. I suffer from several issues and have a form of channelopathy that either it is causing some brain issues or could have been my exposure to carbon monoxide in March this year, along with my ongoing current medical issues. Don't know since I have yet to have an MRI, and insurance denied me when the doctors ordered one for my spine, so long story short. My mouth and brain are not engaging very well. I know sometimes in my videos I don't speak very clear and this is the reason why. Or I may repeat something or mispronunciation happens. I swear to you, I am a very smart person, but my brain to speech does not engage as well as it use too. So in some videos I may sound funny on my words. It's my thing. I try to point out if I am having an off day in the videos so you all know. I swear I have spoken in front of hundreds of people before! And very comfortable in front of cameras ( trust me on that one ) I just may have off days. What sucks more is when the universe is giving me a message I really want to get out.
When universe gives me messages everything comes in like puzzle pieces I have to place together. Then it all lines up and then I have to voice what I see. That's the hard part, especially if I am having a bad day when I know an orange is an orange, but my brain can't call it an orange. And spirit just some days completely takes over and everything just flows perfect to get the message. When recording I record raw. I have the subject matter of what I want to speak about and maybe a quote for inspiration (if that) and then I just let the universe do its thing. So what you guys get on you tube is not really planned. Authentic. So here is the question I leave you. Are you ok with my stutter over my words time to time? Are you fine with me calling something a doohickey if I have too? The reason I ask is because I have been letting fear of rejection holding me back. I am worried that my viewers will not get the message due to my lack of speaking my words. How does this make me a good teacher if I can't get my points across? How can the students learn if they don't understand the teacher?
I still plan on making the video because I refuse to let fear rule me. Fear is just part of my failure ego. Ego is what we all have to learn to let go of. Besides I don't quit. All my life I have pushed thru any obstacle that has been thrown my way. Ganesh has been truly on my side. That is the funny part of life. I call that part my super hero cape, we all have a little super hero inside ourselves. We all for a moment can place our cape on, and become our own super hero. I mean that is why you have stumbled upon me. Somewhere in the universe divine blessings, the universe wanted to remind you today, here is Hamsa Sandra struggling to find her own words. Asking you the reader questions, yet she pushes thru- what am I pushing thru in my own life right now. What do I need to place my own super hero cape on? Am I neglecting myself? See? Everything has a purpose.
So while I try to speak my words, I ask of you to do this.....stand....remember the classic super man pose? Do it for 10 secs. As I sit here and write that I remember back my last day at work, I was having attacks left and right. Huge function, we had a former NFL Superbowl player coming to speak to the kids, I had to set up the equipment. I had one of my teens helping me thankfully because at the time my brain was not thinking left from right. I was having a moment and I was stressed out and I could tell he was, and I told him. Stop. Superman Pose. And we did it. I told him, no matter how crazy the day got to remember we are superheros for the day. We are rockstars and we matter. We got this and we will rock it out. And we did. I even remember a few times, he would shoot me the superman pose during the event. I knew he got the message. He knew he had the power. So claim your power.
In a day, when you don't come across any problems - you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path- Swami Vivekananda
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...