I rarely call my biological mother. I think personally I get caught up in the fact I stay in touch with most people via face book that I fail to remember my own mother, whom can barely see let alone use or owns a computer. She still uses a land line as well, so not even do we text.
I always find convos with her very interesting. Extremely interesting. Especially when she speaks about my birth.
When I was a child I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to go to space. I longed for it. I wanted to see the stars. Somewhere in my teens that changed, and I wanted to become a famous journalist. Then, in life I realized how slated the news was. But I come back to my point. I craved the astral planes. I wanted to fly.
Now, growing up I did not really know of my mother, my stepmother raised me for every since of the word. I was taken from her care when I was around 5. I did not see her until I was 19. So we are speaking of a vast time. However, I was ALWAYS connected to my mother. We have the same signature S in our handwriting. We have same mannerisms, we even LOOK the same, especially when she was younger. I swear to you, when I lived with my mother for the first time when leaving the army, I saw a picture of her that I thought was of me. I was how did she get that? Then she said no, that was a picture of her. So her and I have a serious connection. It's just one of those universe things.
I remember her telling me stories of her astral travels. She of course always gave me the I think people think I am crazy. But she would speak to me, on how when I was younger that she would always reach out to me. I know, I felt it, but I never could see what her face looked like. I could not remember it and when I was a child I could not see it clearly in my dreams. She then would go into the story of my birth. How I am her Star Child. I am a child of the stars, I do get my information in interesting ways. I am also able to see things that most can not. But to have my mother tell me of my birth always amazes me.
I was born January 20, 1971 at 5:21 pm in California. I was born literally on the cusp. My cord was less than 6 inches long. I was born with my placenta. I always could speak and see things, especially archangels, especially Micheal. And looking back on my life, it was always when I had to fight for good over evil. My mother, still remembers clear as day (which for her is a huge issue- she repeats herself more these days, but this story never changes) How, my little self got lost ( I was at a Bluebirds meet up) in LA and how Micheal got me back into our locked apartment. I do remember this. I was lost, I some how got lost out of a line. I looked around. There was a person, who took me by the hand. Next thing I remember was being inside the apartment. My mother will still to this day tell you I told her Micheal took me there. Why, cause I am her Star Child.
With the transition is full phase, I feel like I am learning more of my Star Child ways. I have been thankful to have a watcher in this past year who has given me info and taught me the power of receiving energy from the stars above. I draw still from my water and fire- of course not at the same time. I have learned acceptance of sharing my gift to others. I feel as if I have more power going into 2013.
I understand more fully why Hamsa called to me as a name. I am a teacher, healer, protector, bridge and more. Funny how the story of my mother all these years telling me I am her Star Child sinks in to my higher self. We are all just physical beings on this earth. OM.
Photo: Taken while my mother and I was visiting Egypt.
I am writing you, cause I made a mistake. I am after all in my human form on this earth and NOT perfect. I also allowed outside forces to sway my emotions and honestly I did it twice. Once allowed my internal emotional fire to get feed, the other time was allowing the reasoning water to put out some of the fires.
So, me, Ms. Lightworker allowed the wasted energy of the small stuff to feed the fire. I love my wise ancient "sister" to point that out to me. We all get angry with people.
I have in the past year, been angry about some major things, however given my peaceful attitude I got upset, allowed myself to go thru the process of my anger and moved on. But did I really move on? Apparently not, cause I allowed those issues to rise again. Not going to lie I am 99.9% sure it deal with my underlying PTSD. I allowed a trigger to set off all those big huge things that in reality are unresolved, but in my mind was resolved. So I allowed the log to be placed on the fire and it to be feed.
I am not wrong in my actions, nor am I correct. I simply just had an ego driven base human reaction.
I felt for a moment hitting the brick wall and dusting yourself off was pointless. I felt that I have been to forgiving. Am I still to forgiving, probably but much more cautious I suppose.
So what set me off? My family was violated this week. It was a huge violation. The violation was against my daughter and then my home. What was worse the violation involved someone that my daughter thought she could trust. This has not been the first this year for our family. People that we have trusted this year have seriously violated our family. It has cost of many thousands of dollars, our savings, emotional struggles, and more. It has cause a ripple of negative piles of energy that has cause fights, tensions and more. On the positive side, it also has brought our family together, eyes have been open to true colors of people. It has all been about transitions. Scary ones. The ones which I like to call it is either going to make your or break you. Even though we work through the piles, things are still not perfect. Life is not perfect, and the things we do in life take time and energy to be on the right path. Yes, I am on the right path, I just fell off the path in a large building project. Working on the foundations....
Our house Buddha was destroyed as well during this violation. This Buddha was bought also during the great strive that our family has been going through. The universe, as angry as I was to see my beloved Buddha in pieces on my sidewalk, was giving my a karmic sign. Though life is very trying, to stay true to my path. The universe tested me that day with having to use my energy skills on someone. On any other given day, I would have declined feeling defeated. I did not decline and I was rewarded.
When the negative comes about, no matter what, don't feed the fire. Yes, I allowed the fire to be feed today. I forgave myself and placed loving energy to those my anger was directed too. Yes, I had to be reminded, but I am ok with that, after all I am human.
confessions of a starseed
Wisdom to be passed to the human race...